Hypnotherapy for
Building Happy Relationships
There are the
happy moments in relationships when two people decide to become a couple, when
they decide that they want to stay together, when they both want to commit to
each other. They consider themselves happy, perhaps there is an engagement, they
decide to marry or they are newly married, or perhaps they just moved in
together and started living as a couple. Life feels great, they are loved and
they love, and they start building their new life together. They see it as a
serious relationship, the beginning of a happy life.
And this is
also very often a time when unexpected relationship issues start happening. This
could be an unreasonable jealousy, anger, lack of communication, just mentioning
a few. Surprisingly, when partners become closer, they may start fighting, they
may become demanding, it may seem that the other person is controlling, not
caring enough or over protective, too serious or not having any sense of humor.
Sometimes there is just a growing anxiety, feeling trapped, feeling insecure.
The intimacy weakens, sex is becoming difficult. Sometimes the person can become
so upset and disappointed, that he/she employs other coping mechanisms, like
drinking, binge eating, insomnia, even some psychosomatic problems. How can all
this happen?
When we are
more engaged in the relationship, when it is not a flirt or play anymore, when
it becomes more important and serious, and we are committed, and we want it to
work, we became also more insecure. It could be very frightening to open to
love. There could be many reasons. First, there can be hurt and resentment from
the previous relationships. If the previous fiancé was cheating with your best
mate, it is quite likely that you will become jealous in the next relationship.
If your previous husband was violent and controlling, you may be inclined to
think men are violent and controlling. Sometimes we are conscious that these
fears and assumption are illogical, but it seems impossible to trust.
There could
also be deeper reasons, almost always unconscious. We repeat patterns from our
family of origin, we are entangled in the old beliefs and interpretations from
childhood and we project those beliefs onto our partners. We very often seek in
a partner a substitute for a mother or father, trying to win the parents love
from the partner. Sometimes it is opposite; we see a parent’s faults in our
partner. Mother was controlling and critical, so wife is accused of being
controlling and we cannot swallow any criticism from her. Father was violent, so
we cannot trust any men. Parents were fighting and not happy, so we cannot
believe in happy relationships. The family patterns may repeat generation after
generation.
The good news
is that we do not need to carry the baggage from the previous relationships and
from our parents. We can free ourselves from all unhelpful beliefs on a
conscious and subconscious level. We can restore the natural flow of love in our
families and we can free and empower ourselves. We can create strong lasting
relationship, built on love, trust and understanding, and we can grow and evolve
together with our partner, letting in the natural happiness and joy in our
lives.
There are
many approaches aimed at building a loving, lasting relationship. The most
common counseling or psychological approach will teach you how to communicate,
how to deal with different situations, how to show your feelings. You can learn
cognitive and behavioral skills, recognize your thinking patterns, watch and try
to control your thoughts, even learn to deal with emotions. Very useful skills,
it all helps, even if it may take long a time and a lot of goodwill on both
sides.
However,
there are better approaches, working on the deepest level, creating real
changes, removing all blockages, creating acceptance and understanding, opening
the heart and letting the love flow naturally. When this shift is made, the
communication flows naturally, sometimes even without words, and there is
nothing to hide, so there is no reason to control thoughts or deal with
emotions.
One of the
most efficient therapies to work on both conscious and subconscious level is
hypnotherapy. It combines counseling and many psychotherapy approaches. The
therapy is performed in hypnosis, so the subconscious mind can be explicitly
accessed and cleared from unhelpful beliefs and habits. Hypnotherapy allows the
most personalized approach. Everybody is different, the web of causes and
effects is different for everybody, and in hypnosis the client can access and
implement the best solution from the deepest self.
Family
Constellations (or Systemic Constellations) is the other powerful
phenomenological, alternative or complementary therapy that is gentle, effective
and safe. This is an experiential, spiritual and practical approach to building
better relationships and reaching your potential. I usually combine the Family
Constellation approach with hypnotherapy, together with other techniques, and
I’ve found it one of the most effective methods for restoring the natural flow
of love. The Family Constellation workshop is even more powerful than the
hypnotherapy session, and the solutions reach the deepest possible level of our
being, where the shift is a real turning point in our lives.
